Civility in our City Leadership

Yesterday, I had three political experiences that were profoundly disappointing and one “Roanoke moment” that gladdened my heart. In my first blog post I said that I love Roanoke for her beauty, lifestyle and most importantly, her people. I have lived in the Northeast, the Mid-West and the Southeast. In all of those places I developed good and long-term friendships, but I cannot say that I ever felt that the population at large was particularly or genuinely warm and friendly. After I moved to Roanoke it took me several years to believe that the people hear were not perfunctorily kind. I came to learn that when someone said “have a good day” instead of good-bye, he/she actually meant it. I sometimes joke that the Roanoke airport is the only airport I know of where instead of a rush to board the plane, the majority of people will say “please go ahead”.

Of course, over the years I have run into people who were difficult and disagreeable but rarely in public life. I often made appointments with various Representatives at both the State and Federal level, most often because I disagreed with a policy that he was supporting, and I was always met with kindness and a listening ear. Though my words never had any true effect on their final vote, I always left knowing that I was heard and understood. Almost always, one of the final sentences was, “Really thank you for coming in, we don’t always hear different opinions. If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know.”  The conversations were civil. There was no anger, no manipulation and no power plays.

The great thing about living in a community in which the majority of the people behave with genuine kindness, understanding and warmth is that it becomes contagious. The more people experience a culture like this, the more they want to contribute to it.  I am saddened to say that over the past few years, months and days, I have seen a decline in the baseline civility of our city. Though I am not a believer in the “trickle down” theory, in this case I do think that when our public leaders and candidates for office behave with little or no regard for others in the community, we have a problem that either rivals or is greater than the budget crisis.

My first disappointing moment yesterday: Several years ago, a member of City Council attempted to undermine a colleague who sat on the Gun Violence Prevention Commission by declaring, with no basis, that the Gun Violence Prevention Commission had misused 1.5 million dollars of ARPA (not taxpayer) funding. This money had been legally distributed to different community organizations who were working in the field of gun violence reduction. This City Council member then forced the city to perform a costly audit.  The audit revealed that there was no misuse of funds whatsoever but that there were some administrative processes that could have been done better.  Yesterday, in a bid to reclaim a Council seat, the former City Council member placed on Facebook a renewed attack on the Gun Violence Prevention Commission entitled, “Where did 1.5 million dollars of taxpayer dollars go?”  - falsely implying once again embezzlement, mismanagement or incompetency. To manipulate people into believing outright lies for ones own political gain is inconsistent with the character of our city.

Incident number 2 – Watching a Council member who is running for re-election derisively call out and attempt to shame a citizen for holding a different opinion about zoning reform during a City Council meeting.

Incident number 3 – Watching that same Council member question a city staff member in an intimidating and manipulative way to get her to say that the Council member’s opinion was correct.

Incident number 4 – the true Roanoke moment – I am walking on a sidewalk paying more attention to my phone than my surroundings and trip, catching myself but littering the sidewalk with a slew of papers I was carrying. I bend to start cleaning up everything and an unhoused resident down the street rushes to help me. When I thank him, he responds, “aren’t we all here to help each other?”

Civility in our top leadership should be a requirement for public office. When our leaders manipulate the truth or tell outright lies for their own political gain, we should make it clear that this is not the type of leader our city needs. It is truly sad that our city politics have descended to the point of needing fact checkers. When leaders or would be leaders descend to grade school behavioral levels by calling others pejorative names and naming them in what they hope to be a shameful way, we should demand a public apology. If that behavior becomes a pattern, voters should take the appropriate action and remove them from office as soon as possible. We deserve to have mature, thoughtful adults on the dais who can learn from the wisdom of opposing views, craft legislature that strives to do the most good for the most people, express opinions without argumentative malice and lose a vote with grace.

If we want our city to be inviting, our leaders must display the Roanoke values of genuine warmth, true kindness and absolute civility.